SOUNDS AND THE SOUNDLESS SOUND
Diary 14th Aug 2017
OK, so a little more direct feedback.
I am very tired, as Sumire and I have been up most of the night with Maia so we have had little sleep and we are all out of synch. This is all part of my sadhana, my practice, like a retreat. Children are great for retreats. They put you all out of rhythm and challenge your patience and your desires and fill you with the most enormous love imaginable.
When I sit, as in a formal sitting, like my own personal workshop, I need at least one hour of uninterrupted time. This is rare with a child.
I do this every night and morning, without fail, even if it is just for a few minutes.
This morning I was immensely lucky. We were up until 2am and I woke at 7am so I know Sumire and Maia will be asleep until at least 8am.
So I begin.
I sit and do my various practices, prayers for all, chants for liberation, kriya practices, kalachakra practices, Mahamudra practices, in all they take about half an hour, after doing half an hour of yoga and energization exercises so I suppose that is about an hour already in total lol.
Many experiences arise in these spaces and I sit for a while afterwards in silence and stillness and commune with the Absolute. Sometimes the Absolute is busy as a crowded thoroughfare and sometimes as still and serene as a millpond, but it is all the same river and I don’t interrupt it, just let it have its ebb and its flow because ultimately none of it has any independent existence, it is all manifestation of the same One Mind and One Shared Heart, the Source.
Then I sit with the sounds for half an hour. Every time is different.
This morning for example I was met by waves, like an ocean and then a magnificent manifestation of Krishna whose hands were like Our Mother’s one thousand fold and He reached out to touch my hand. This is very profound when it happens. I was deeply moved.
Then I am on a boat in the Pure Lands beside a manifestation of Mother in the form of Saraswati. I know it is the Pure Lands by the golden waves that flow through me, waves that I have experienced before, once with Sumire in New Zealand while crossing a farm gate, a phenomena we both experienced simultaneously and were speaking about last night.
These visions came out of emptiness and are no less or more important than the experience of a crowded thoroughfare so I do not focus on them but let them pass like autumn leaves on a slow moving river.
That is when the Light comes. It is, as I have experienced before, a shaft of Light coming from a particular direction, above and beyond and to my right and strikes me with a force that sends great joy through my being. I am engulfed in waves of laughter that threaten to expel me out of the body and into another space so I go with it until it subsides. I have experienced these waves before with Tareth when the oil manifested in my palms.
Perhaps that is the overriding knowing, the power of being, that the Light is always here when we know how to look for it.
At various points I am launched, beyond my control, into spaces and dimensions that are unrecognizable and bear no resemblance to anything here on earth. One that really stuck out in my consciousness is a parabolic world where we play and love on curved surfaces with a kind of bubble light. I can see it but it is so hard to describe because no acceptable parallel is here to refer you to.
My physical body goes through various extremes, from joy which comes close to pain as I surrender to joy which is forms of ecstasy.
Sometimes this gives the breathless state in which my heart moves but my breath does not and in the past have given me one experience of levitation where in the lotus posture I was raised above the ground just a few inches. So I know the power of joy and the wonders of being free of the breath.
At one point in this state Yeshua appeared. The power of this Presence is immense and I knelt for forgiveness and wept because forgiveness is my path and I am constantly humbled by its power in my life and how frequently I err when it comes to forgiving my fellow human beings. So I want forgiveness to be empowered within me, just as I wish for the deepest love and compassion and wisdom, all paths on which I am such a beginner. A humble, shoeless, lazy monk.
At another Samantabhadra Buddha awoke within me and transformed into Majushri and then into Maitreya. They appear like golden forms in my vision. These are moments of wonderful bliss and again are like rays of sun between the clouds on a cloudy day and arise and pass as the river flows on.
So the power of Presence and the delightful infinite pure light of being is my experience these days, but may I say it is not 100% every moment, every day, every month, every year. I am learning just how deeply this power of liberation extends and how much work and effort it takes every day, every moment, to embrace it and love who I am and who you are and what this world is.
Humbly
In deepest Love
Altair
(With deepest gratitude to Kusaba Kazuhisa for the artwork)
NOTE
I feel the lightness of joy in our Shared Heart, I feel that too, all day sometimes, the golden glow and flow of the absolute through all we do. So it is no wonder there was also a Union with a Winged Goddess or Dakini (Flying Deva) She of Golden Form and Fragile Wings. Not always a shoeless monks common experience. I must be making progress. An Earth Dakini. Golden Yellow. Ratna Dakini representing compassion. The following information may prove useful.