DIARY OF A YOGI – January 2019

I wanted to share a little of my meditations from this first week of 2019 with you simply so that the gatekeeper in you can let go and stay present and go beyond the self.

Last Sunday after our meditation I was overcome by Shakti for several hours, spontaneously, keeping me awake until 3 am. The energies burst in my spine and light manifested around me and visions erupted one after the other so that I had to ask my wife to stay with me to help me ground and be present. I was concerned what would happen if the energies didn’t stop and my self was completely extinguished too suddenly without the normal accompanying harmony of peace. Divine Mother nurtures and She also makes it very obvious when the energies are nearing the capacity of this body to withstand.

So I understood there was some fine tuning necessary.

The next few days I more fully gave myself to the process of surrender to the light of awakening and entering into Source, so that the wisdom of realizing would more fully embrace the experiences. In other words I didn’t try. My meditations were softer, gentler.

Then on Friday night I could feel the mind and heart align with Source so I began with my usual Kriya practice, which these days is very short (perhaps 12 to 14 times) and settled into going beyond.

I was very awake.

In the stillness and silence and spaciousness of the most subtle mind and heart, the winds of Divine Mother blew a light body of the purest energy, clear and as radiant as a rainbow, into being. It was accompanied by a bliss that deepened rapidly on three to four occasions, as if Her lips blew that bliss into my being. I was not meditating, in fact there was no meditator. She was meditating me. There was no volition or control or any attempt to do anything whatsoever. In that non-doing everything was done. The bliss brought deep rolls of tears, waves of light upon a deeper ocean of light that was Her Light.

There was no self and no doing thinking or grasping. In the letting go all wonders and miracles revealed themselves.

I realized we are always in the company of those Masters, Yeshua and Mary Magdalene, Yogananda and Babaji, the Dalai Lama and Avalokiteshvara Guan Yin, who are seeking to raise our consciousness to the level of realization where their souls and ours, the Light and the Lord are all One.

On Saturday night, as I meditated again, aware that the Master’s consciousness had been with me all day, as I sat to meditate (which, with my family is about an hour, and can be interrupted by my gorgeous 4-year-old at any time) around 30 to 40 minutes in, my breath was drawn out of my lungs as if Divine Mother had sucked it out, quite beyond anything I could do myself. It was as if every part of me became part of every other aspect of being and was shredded or dispersed throughout the cosmos. There was no awareness of the body, but more a dispersal of my consciousness to every other place imaginable. Those places became me and I became them. The inner spaciousness was vast and could perceive all of this simultaneously. It was like watching a million movies, yet there was no watcher. The watcher had melted and the light itself was the creator and the creation. The joy was unfathomable. Tears of bliss enveloped a brief flash of me and then the cosmos that was unfolding continued, layer upon layer, light upon light, radiantly blinding.

The light drew me onwards, into a tunnel of light, giving the effect that whatever was left of this ‘I’ was being drawn into an Eternal Source of Light and Love, like an Eternal Flame. This flame burned with a divine wind, a tornado of OM, that blew through me like an engine, roaring in the inner ears. The intensity seemed infinite, endless and there was no wish for it to end. And then when it did come, there were just tears of endless gratitude for the Light within us, that we all share.

A beautiful awakened soul recently asked me:

“What is the best way to realize the self?”

My reply was:

“Simply to witness. So when you breathe, watch the breath, and be aware of the Divine Witness, the One that observes All including the breath. As you watch the breath you will learn to watch the winds in the trees and the waters on the earth and the clear blue sky and realize that you cherish them all as you are in them all. You will know the I AM Presence in them all that is not ‘me’ or ‘I’ that grasps and collects. It is a deeper I. The awakened One. You will know the value of stillness and silence and spaciousness. You will wish then only for the freedom and liberation of all beings. And you will also know that the greatest gift you can offer this planet and its people is your own self-realization.”

Whatever you bring your attention to, with deep awareness, becomes a portal, and through that portal you can connect to and co-create anything in the universe.

When we touch the Divine, the eternal space of love, how does it appear to us?

Some years ago, I was practicing Mahamudra and sitting in a Zen garden when I started to perceive all the surrounding trees, birds, wind and sunlight as emanations of Divine Mother in the form of Guan Yin. I walked in the gardens and the wind became Her Voice, the petals Her Skin, the light Her Face and the water Her Tears.

We walk our path with the Lord, with Divine Mother. We are not separate. There is no “me” and something else. We are all over the place, in the ground we walk upon, the air we breathe, the light we see.

You are seeing and hearing your wisdom, the wisdom of the One Shared Heart, awaken and appear in the energy forms of light or fire or subtle states of consciousness like peace or love or forms like Yeshua and Mary Magdalene, Yogananda and Babaji, the Dalai Lama and Avalokiteshvara Guan Yin.

Our wisdom is in plain sight, settled in our Heart.

“Be still and know God” Psalm 46:10

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body, if your vision is clear, your whole body will be full of light.” Matthew 6:21-22

Remember the importance of faith and confidence in your practice and your own path with heart, especially in those days when events seem to make practice and your path more of a struggle than others.

Remember the Creator within, and that creating the awareness of Awareness consciousness within, through the power of the angelic, bodhisattva and master experience in each one of us, simply by being, brings deep presence and wisdom to our daily experience, moment by moment.

Just as we have an outer life now that we strongly connect to, and that we draw our outer purpose from, so we have an inner purpose, to awaken divine consciousness, and this is awakening within as we speak right now.

Together we are exploring how to awaken the light of the Holy Spirit within us, and how to awaken the subtle divine winds and body of light and the subtle levels of consciousness which lie within us all.

Like Yeshua and Mary Magdalene, Buddha and Avalokiteshvara Guan Yin, Krishna and Babaji, and the Archangels and Bodhisattvas we are all Lights for this World.

We reveal through the unity of the Shared Heart the miracles we can unfold through the state of being that is the awakened divine consciousness of our subtle divine consciousness and Light Body, ever-present in the light.

Be the Christ, Krishna, Buddha, the Divine Mother Within.
We carry this flame of enlightenment within us.
Let it shine.
Let the Light in.

ག༌ཏེ༌ག༌ཏེ༌པཱ༌ར༌ག༌ཏེ༌པཱ༌ར༌སཾ༌ག༌ཏེ༌བོ༌དྷི༌སྭཱ༌ཧཱ།
Gate gate pāragate pārasaṃgate bodhi swāhā

These words of Avalokiteshavara Guan Yin from the Blessed Mother’s Heart of Wisdom Sutra are guidance into the heart of the subtle divine consciousness to direct realization of the Divine I AM Presence.

Love and Blessings

Altair and Mother